The One Thing You Can Improve
There’s nothing you can do about your husband’s bad habits, but there is one part of the world that you can be certain of improving — you.
Oddly enough, whenever I focus my energy completely on improving myself, my husband seems to raise his standards too.
For instance, if I refuse to engage in an argument by letting little things slide, he’s quick to apologize for making a sarcastic comment.
By contrast, if I jump into a fight with him, we’re both at our worst. When I’m willing to listen to what he thinks, he’s more likely to listen to what I want.
If I remember to express my gratitude for him, he seems to put more effort into pleasing me.
I know I can’t control or improve my husband, but he certainly seems to respond well when I behave maturely. That means the burden’s on me to improve the one thing I know I can: myself.
Giving Up NET (Needless Emotional Turmoil)
Needless Emotional Turmoil (NET for short) is what you feel when you try to control things that are not in your control.
Imagine you wear a backpack every day, and inside it are all of your concerns, fears and instructions for your husband.
The first day you decide not to wear the backpack, you’re going to feel light and free, but also strange. You might miss the familiarity of having that backpack on.
You may feel jolts of anxiety throughout the day as you realize you’re not wearing it.
Remind yourself that you don’t really need that backpack, or want anything that’s in it.
Eventually, you will come to love how easily you move without it.
All of this will come from making a decision to give up NET.