Do you ever have this feeling that you are better than your husband? Do you find you look down on him because he doesn’t quite measure up to your expectations of whatever……orderliness, manners, managing finances, education, etc. It’s easy to fall into this trap and to replay it over and over again in our minds.
If you are thinking this way, I want you to remember that he has qualities that you are lacking. Would you like it if he looked down on you for not measuring up to the qualities he holds so dear?
“Do you wish to be great? Do you desire to construct a vast and lofty fabric? Think first about the foundations of humility. The higher your structure is to be, the deeper must be its foundation.”
“The most powerful weapon to conquer the devil is humility. For, as he does not know at all how to employ it, neither does he know how to defend himself from it.”
–Saint Vincent de Paul
“Humility does not disturb or disquiet or agitate, however great it may be; it comes with peace, delight, and calm. . . . The pain of genuine humility doesn’t agitate or afflict the soul; rather, this humility expands it and enables it to serve God more.”
–St Teresa of Avila
from Fascinating Womanhood:
Similar to self-righteousness is a feeling of superiority. You may consider yourself more intelligent, better educated, more skilled, alert, careful, clever, or successful than he. You may come from a better family background, one with more money and status.
With this view of yourself, you may take the initiative to shape him up to your standards. If you want a good marriage, don’t count the worth of these things in your favor, or flaunt them before him, making him feel inferior.
Instead, learn to appreciate the things which really count.
One thing that makes it difficult to overlook a fault in a man is that his faults are different from yours.
He may be disorganized and messy, whereas you may be neat and orderly. He may be forgetful and you may be alert.
On the other hand, you may be critical whereas he is inclined to be forgiving. You may be tardy and he may be prompt.
Because your faults are different, you may focus on his and overlook your own. The next time you are troubled about your husband’s faults, say to yourself, “He has this fault but he is better than me in other ways.”
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