Both of these points from The Surrendered Wife spoke to me. I think most women like to have control, and yes, even (and maybe especially) control of their husbands to varying degrees. Letting go of that control is an act of the will and a commitment to trust God with results.
The last point about being over committed…..I can relate. Let go of some of it….Keep this in mind next time you want to commit to something:
The Miracle of Perpetual Dating
Remember how much fun it was to date your husband when you first met? Those glory days return when you surrender control. Every time you go out to eat or to a movie, he takes care of you by paying for both of you and handling any details.
Instead of bickering at dinner, you can talk about things that interest you, what you hope for and how you’re feeling. You can laugh together and hold hands, as you enjoy being treated like a princess again.
Most of all, you can let him treat you the way he did when you were first dating by letting him know what a nice time you had and thanking him for taking you out. If you do, you’ll enjoy the miracle of perpetual dating for many years to come.
Before you take on more work, responsibility or expense, ask yourself if you can really make snacks for the team, head up a committee or work late without causing yourself distress. Will you have to sleep less, speed to be on time or skip out on going to the gym? Then don’t do it.
Instead, practice saying these empowering words: “I can’t.” They work just as well when your child’s teacher asks you to volunteer in the classroom as they do when your husband asks you to stop by the dry cleaners on an already too-busy day. They require no further explanation.
If you’re thinking, “but that’s not true because I can do it ,” think again. If what you want is to feel good, stay balanced and have enough energy to foster an intimate marriage, you really can’t do it all. Think of the phrase “I can’t” as shorthand for reminding yourself that it’s okay to save your time and energy for you and your relationship.
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