The wonderful priest who gave us our pre-marriage instruction told us it would be the little things that make or break our marriage. Here are some little things that can make a big difference in your relationship!
Always choose love.
Above all things.
Greet him with a loving smile.
Who wouldn’t love coming home to that every night? Even if you are tired too. Or have something else on your mind. Put that aside for just a while to make his day wonderful with your warm, loving smile. There are not many smiles out in the world these days, so let yours be one of the few and the best in his life.
Let the little things go.
Don’t hang on to small annoyances . So many marriages have slowly deteriorated over the smallest, silliest things. He doesn’t take out the trash? He snores at night? He’s terrible about leaving the laundry on the floor? It’s not all that big of a deal. Just put it behind you and get on with loving him instead.
Work through the big things.
Take the time to talk those through. Yes, it might mean some hard work and long hours, but it will be worth it. Don’t let the things that really matter go. It’s worth the effort to address it and deal with it. Otherwise, you’re left with a shallow and/ or a hurting relationship. No way. Go deep.
Don’t try to change him.
He’s a good man just as he is. He might have room to grow – but then again, so do you. Leave that work to the Holy Spirit. He (the Spirit) is always so much more effective than we’ll ever be. So don’t make it your job to transform him, but to simply love him.
Pray for him.
Make it your daily ministry to lift him up before your Heavenly Father. He needs a praying wife. Ask God to protect him and to protect your marriage. Ask for blessing and for mercy. What better gift can a wife offer than her faithful prayers for her husband?
Remember he’s not your girlfriend.
He won’t always understand or relate, so don’t have unreasonable expectations. Often we want him to “get” what it is that we are feeling or struggling with. But he isn’t “me” and never will be (thank goodness!). He is made differently with a different experience and different strengths and weaknesses. Don’t demand that he be something he can never be.
But be sure he’s your best-friend.
Invest in your friendship. Find activities you both enjoy and spend time together. Do the kinds of things that friends do: talk, laugh, work, and play. Share your heart with him – talk about your hopes and dreams – and ask about his too. Decide in the beginning that you’re going to stick together until the very end. You’re both in this relationship for the long haul. ‘Til death do you part.’
And the two of you shall become one flesh, so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate. (Mark 10: 8-9).
Be a wise woman.
Your husband relies on your wisdom. He needs to know that he can count on you for good advice and keen insight. You can – and should – be a wonderful resource for him. “She opens her mouth with wisdom” (Prov. 31: 26a).
Look for little ways to delight him.
Be mindful of those small preferences of his. My husband likes his coffee cup warmed up before pouring. He has a certain way he likes his t-shirts folded (yes, I’m serious). He likes it when we go to bed at the same time. They might be tiny details, but they say something big to him. What about your guy? What are the things that say love to him?
Allow him to make mistakes.
Don’t hold it against him . “Everyone makes mistakes” applies to husbands too. If he forgets something? Messes up? Doesn’t follow through? Frustrating I know, but couldn’t we all use some grace? And some of us more than others.
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