Wonderful books by Father Kinsella:
The Wife Desired
The Man For Her
Although sex is an important aspect of marriage, yet it is really a
small part. Especially is this true in the marriages where all is well
as regards sex. The companionship of marriage is what brings the
real fullness of peace and contentment to a couple. And after all,
peace and contentment are the real day in and day out ingredients
The full flaming moments of ecstasy of love, rocketing a soul into
the very presence of God, are few and far between for the average
mortal. These moments are cherished as a glimpse of eternal
things to come. Now we have not even the capacity to long endure
A human being is not very self-sufficient. A person needs others to
fill the emptiness of his own being. Husband and wife fill this
need for each other. They complement each other in this manner
much more even than they do in any physical sense.
There is something beautiful about the companionship of man and
wife as it bridges the years. Especially is this true for those who
have kept something of the chivalry of the first days of their love.
Familiarity does not have to breed contempt. Perhaps it does
among savages. The natural, easy familiarity between man and
wife, springing from their daily companionship can easily remain,
and does in very many instances, a fine influence in their lives.
All wives appreciate the little courtesies of respect and esteem
from their husbands. Some do nothing to promote this attitude on
the part of their husbands. A lady will receive attention, and
courtesy if she merits it, and if she is gracious enough to
acknowledge the efforts of the male.
By nature a man has a deep-seated sense of respect, of chivalry for
the lady. It does something for him to manifest this feeling. It
helps to make him a better man.
At an early age, I was somewhat disillusioned about the female in
this matter of chivalry. During high school years I rode the "El" in
Chicago during the morning rush hour. I shall never forget my first
efforts to be courteous with the female passengers. I was almost
trampled to death. It was impossible to show these women any
deference. They had become callous. For them life was a matter of
dog eat dog. They shoved and gouged and grabbed any preference
before a man could offer it to them. A man on the "El" during the
rush hour had about as much opportunity to be chivalrous as a
polite hog at a trough has of getting in a bite.
I have often wondered what kind of wives those little ladies
became. Perhaps they were tired or confused at being thrown into
the vortex of the economic struggle for survival. In a saner world
they would have been at home, where the true nobility of their
lives could find its proper environment for growth.
Intelligent couples never take each other for granted. Of course
there is a natural easiness and relaxation in each other's company
shutting out any stiffness or lack of intimacy. The bright husband
will never relinquish the prerogative of being a gentleman.
Thoughtfulness is his watch word. A kindness here and a
consideration there go a long way to promote companionship with
his wife. The opening of a car door for her, helping her with her
coat, seating her at table, these and a dozen other little actions
evidence his tenderness for her. She is precious to him, so he
surrounds her with attentions.
What wife could be so dull as not to yearn for such interest? Then
she makes an unobtrusive but very real effort to keep for her
married life the chivalry of her days of courtship.
Many married couples never lose the evidence of chivalry and
romance of their days of courtship. Actually all their married lives
they court each other. So blessed with this disposition they walk
through life leading each other to their eternal reward in loving
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