I wrote this article awhile ago. It is power-packed with good information…like what kind of plants to grow (if you like greenery in the house), how to get the most out of your honeymoon and feeding guests on a Sunday morning. It is also filled with deep and inspiring thoughts about the differences between men and women. Hubby informed me it is also filled with exaggeration….! 😀

Even though I had been raised in a large city in the middle of Canada, where the most6 prolific crop is icicles, I always wanted to marry a farmer boy.  I thought living in the country would be quite romantic.  Not only that, I really did like the simplicity and the wholesomeness of the country life.  Then when he said, “Will you marry me?” I felt my dreams had come true!

Shortly after we climbed down the church steps we found out we had differences!  BIG differences!  Men are from Mars?  You wanna believe it!

It didn’t take me long to discover a few things about a country guy.  Priorities in HIS life are…(ahem)different to a city girl.

For instance, when I am driving, my priority is to get from point A to point B in good time and in relative safety. Sounds simple, doesn’t it?

For him, it’s not the speed limit that counts nor is it if you are veering from one ditch to the next!! 😯 The most important thing is how much the soybeans have grown or whether that *flash* that went across the road is a coyote or a fox!

Safety isn’t part of the picture. Have you ever known any farmer that wore a seat belt in a tractor??  In the field, you didn’t have to keep your eye on the road, there was none!Speeding_car

Let me tell you about our honeymoon. We were tearing through the mountains at break-neck speed, going around curves on what felt like 2 wheels!! Hanging on for dear life, I looked at my husband in amazement. Why in the heck was he not watching the road??!!

He proceeded to ask me excitedly if I saw how many points that elk had on it!!  As I squinted my eyes to see if he was talking about that 4-legged dot in the distance, I thought to myself, “Can this guy be for real”?

At that moment, The words we said at the altar, “Till death do us part” became very vivid to me..  Either he was going to kill me while looking at his jackalopes… …or there may be a murder at the next Rest Stop!2

When I got married, I dreamed of a nice, orderly garden, a white picket fence and a wrap-around porch that all the family would gather round in the evening to chew the fat.  You know…relaxed…normal….Isn’t that what country life was?

I was in for some big surprises!  I remember the time that we had company over for brunch.  Everyone was enjoying themselves as I made breakfast.Scared_Shocked_Woman_Cartoon-2  I needed something from the freezer.  I went to open it and I saw 2 beady eyes staring at me!  I stifled my scream so as not to alarm the guests!!  There was a raccoon in my freezer!  Whole and entire…fur and all!! I couldn’t believe it!  Couldn’t he keep the road kill on the road where it belonged!? What would he do if I had died of a heart attack on the spot?

Then it would’ve been just him and the raccoon and all he’d get from IT is the cold shoulder.  Why do guys never think of these things???   😦

To be just, I have to admit it goes both ways.

HE should’ve suspected the day he came home and wondered why his newly purchased bedding plants were… dead!  “Honey, we just bought those bedding plants and they weren’t cheap.  Look at them!”

Everyone knows women are supposed to be able to multi-task, but I try to explain to him what number “multi” means! He gets REALLY perturbed when all I have to say is, “ooops” (again)!! …At least I say it apologetically.index

I try to lighten it up. “Maybe we could invest in venus fly traps.  Aren’t they the ones that feed on flesh?  I’ll at least know they need something, when I hear them licking their chops!”  He didn’t like my lame attempt at humor!

I have reminded him that he was imprudent and impetuous for asking me to marry him on our 2nd date.  Really, it’s his fault for not checking out the credentials!  He should’ve married that cute, stalky farm girl he made googley-eyes with when he was 16!  Sheesh!

I DO have good intentions, though.  Last week I made homemade elderberry syrup.  OK, so it was rather runny…more like purple soup, actually! 😦 Come to think of it I didn’t have much luck with my homemade cheese either. I snuck it out the back for the dogs to eat.  They just walked away.  Maybe I was just imagining it but it seemed they had their noses in the air!  Ungrateful creatures!image-001

I told hubby that tomorrow I am going to try my hand at grinding my own wheat and making bread out of it.  He didn’t say anything….I knew what he was thinking though and he’s lucky he didn’t say it.

It’s too late for my nature boy!  He already said I do.  He’s just going to have to tough it out and resign himself to his city-slicker wannabe country girl.

As for me, I usually take the wheel when we go out together.  That way, he can look at how fast the corn is growing or if that *flash* across the road was a gopher or a hyena or whatever!

I started thinking about our dilemma.  You know, the one between the Martians and the Venetians. Do you know how far Mars is from Venus? 1,990 million miles!  That’s a long way to walk to meet in the middle!

Somehow in this whole picture we have to agree that God has a sense of humor.  He must have – he put man and woman together.country-city-mouse

In our case he put the City Mouse and the Country Mouse together on top of it.

As this city mouse tries to learn the ways of the country, I begin to think that picket fences and wrap-around porches are pretty boring.  When I start veering off the road to see the armadillos in the distance, I’ll know I’m doomed.