Your Marriage; Be Ready to Forgive and Compromise – Father Lovasik

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Be ready to compromise and to forgive

There will be many disagreements in your married life. Marriage has many difficulties and trials that are inevitable when two human beings live together in a life-long union of the greatest intimacy, with all the changes in mood and temperament that the varying conditions of life occasion.

Self-sacrifice is one of the standards of measurement for true love. Self-sacrifice is opposed to selfishness. Selfishness means wanting your own way always. It makes you a dictator.

Self-sacrifice must take the form of compromise. This compromise does not surrender in matters of moral or spiritual principle, but does surrender in disputes over the use of money, leisure time, or material things.

If you always insist on having your way, on doing what you want, on buying what you want, on going where you choose, without considering the desires of your partner, there is selfishness in place of love. Such selfishness is the basis of all impatience, and anger is the fruit of impatience.

A happy marriage depends so much on cooperation, self-sacrifice, sacrifice, and understanding that whatever is gained by insisting on rights will be lost in peace and good will.

So never talk about what you have a right to do against the wishes of your partner. It is difficult, if not impossible, to bring peace into a home where either the husband or the wife is stubbornly insisting on some right against the judgment or wishes of the partner.

You cannot force a person to be a good companion. That must come from the person’s own desire and from his freedom from external tasks and worries. Rather than just laying down the law, you would do far better to show an interest in each other’s work and to make some effort, even with all your own responsibilities, to help each other with it.

The partnership of marriage requires give and take. There are still husbands who feel that only men are entitled to freedom of movement and outside-the-house contacts and associations.

Either they are very jealous men, who unreasonably fear that they might lose their wives’ affection if they permit them to mingle with people outside the home, or they are simply the dictator type, who feel that women should be subject to men and to their duties as wives and mothers, and that they should ask for nothing in the way of relaxation and recreation.

This is not normal, but it is something wives should accept patiently. They can use any reasonable means to correct the condition. Anger, resentment, and bitterness will not accomplish anything; rather they will serve only to harden some husbands in their unjust attitude.

If your husband has a kind of tyrannical temperament – if he thinks he knows it all as far as you are concerned – you will not change his opinion of his superior wisdom merely by butting your head against his will.

You must have a full measure of respect for the judgment and wishes of your spouse. Use spiritual motives to accept with peace the tyranny you cannot avoid without war.

If your husband insists on making all the decisions, no matter how intimately you may be involved, then only by the grace of God, combined with a constant effort to cultivate patience, prudence, and tact will you be able to solve your problem.

Furthermore, you accepted him “for better or for worse,” and when “the worse” comes out in him, remember your promise at God’s altar. Be thankful that you have a good Catholic husband, if that be the case, who does not, with all his faults, make it difficult for you to live up to your Faith and to save your soul.

Be forgiving

Self-sacrifice must take the form of forgiveness. Forgiveness means the sacrifice of anger, bitterness, resentment, and revenge against your partner. There is no marriage in which forgiveness is not sometimes required, because there are no perfect human beings on earth.

It is inevitable when you live with another person day after day that at times your feelings will be hurt, and you will think that your rights are abused. So do not be too sensitive, and do not feel sorry for yourself.

A nagging wife never wholeheartedly forgives, because she never lets her husband forget his faults and defects of character. A husband who bears grudges against his wife and enters into moody silences for long periods of time is too selfish to forgive from his heart.

The causes for disagreements are usually very trivial. If you have misunderstandings, do everything possible to straighten out these domestic problems as soon as possible, and try to keep harmony.

Balance your accounts every day: if you quarrel in the morning, try to be at peace by nightfall. If you have failed, admit the mistake, and your spouse should forgive and forget.

You need a technique for handling the differences that so often lead to explosions of temper in marriage. Try to discuss your differences with calmness and understanding and settle them through reason tempered with good will and love. Without these elements, no disagreement can be solved.

With the help of God and your good will, love, and understanding, a solution can be found for every difficulty.

Accept each other’s faults

The state of being in love is not a sufficient guide to the new life of marriage, as a pagan, secular world would have us believe. The implications of the vows of Matrimony become clear only gradually.

When you were married, each of you had to choose first the interests of the other. This choice could not be accomplished in a matter of days. When you began to live as one, you discovered in yourselves faults of temper and character of which previously you may not have been aware. Even to this day you will find these faults your stumbling blocks.

Your chance of happiness depends on your sincere determination and your capacity for self-sacrifice to get them out of your way. Learn to accept each other’s faults with patient love. Do not brood over them. If you do, you will pile one thing upon another and make mountains out of molehills.

Forgiveness is especially a necessary part of your relationship. If you see a fault in your spouse that you consider serious, and which makes you unhappy, be patient and bring it up to your partner in a kind, prudent way.

Be ready to accept correction for your own faults and failings. If you have complaints about your spouse, begin the process of correction by examining and correcting yourself. A case cannot be settled on the basis of one spouse’s complaints alone. The principal fault may be found on one side only, but you should not take it for granted without self-examination and humble self-improvement.

You must dare to put aside your petty personal pattern, your peeves and fears, and in humble trust and prayer beg the help of God, offered to you in the sacrament of Matrimony.

Make unpleasant experiences fewer. There will be numerous occasions when even loving personalities verge on hatred. There will be spells of boredom and dreariness that even real love does not dispel. There will be days and nights of weariness, discouragement, unhappiness, and almost despair.

Remember that you have enough help to assure you of improvement. Both of you are working for the ideal marriage, and both of you are eager to find ways of making your life happier.

If only you cooperate, God will give you innumerable graces -those particularly conferred by the sacrament of Matrimony – actual grace and sanctifying grace. This means a real lift to progress at the very moment you need it most.

Punctuality exacts self-discipline and detachment; it often asks us to interrupt some interesting, pleasant work in order to give ourselves to another kind, perhaps less attractive or less important.
However, it would be a great mistake to esteem our duties and to dedicate ourselves to them according to the attraction we have for them or according to their more or less apparent importance.
All is important and beautiful when it is the expression of the will of God, and the soul who wishes to live in this hole he will every minute of the day, will never omit the slightest act prescribed by its rule of life. -Divine Intimacy

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A special Christmas gift!

The All-New, Full-Color Catholic Mother Goose Volume Two and The Catholic Mother Goose Volume One

Review: The volumes are so thick and worth the price! Both the black and white volume with its intricate pencil illustrations, and the volume with its bright wall-to-wall colors, have equal appeal each in their own way. It is a sturdy paperback, and will last in a house full of kids. Shipped quickly.

Review: Catholic Mother Goose, Volume Two, is a ‘one of a kind’ treasure for young and old alike! Little minds will be captivated by the beautifully colored and illustrated pages. Throughout the nursery rhymes, children will learn the lessons of kindness, unselfishness, the efficacy of suffering and the value of prayer! They will become more familiar with the lives of the Saints, St. Therese, St. Francis, etc. and their great love for Jesus and Mary. These beautifully written poems will plant the seed for good literature and a love for reading for years to come. This is how we make our Catholic faith and culture come alive for our children! This book is a must!

Available here.

Package Deal on Volumes One and Two here.

 

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Inspirational Quotes & The Winner Is….

Here are a few inspirational quotes for your day!

(The Winner of the Advent Drawing follows….)

“As far as possible, be at home with your children. As you nourished your child before he was capable of eating solid food, so in the early formative years, nature has determined that you must nourish your child in virtue.” –Fr. Lovasik, The Catholic Family Handbook

The education of your children is the result of the combined efforts of both parents. But in his youngest years, the child is almost exclusively under the mother’s guidance. Your efforts are to produce effects that will have their final reckoning in eternity. Although your educational influence is of a nature entirely different from that of the father, your vocation as mother is equal in importance to your husband’s. –The Catholic Family Handbook, Fr. Lovasik

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Aprons tell a beautiful story…..a story of love and sacrifice….of baking bread and mopping floors, of planting seeds and household chores. Sadly, many women have tossed the aprons aside and donned their business attire. Wear your apron with joy….it is a symbol of Femininity….”Finer” Femininity! (Gemma’s lovely apron, given to her as a gift for her Confirmation, from her sister Rosie. Made by her sister, Gin.)

“A woman’s role is supportive, and she is to be her husband’s helper, confidant, counselor if need be, friend and one of his greatest allies. You should be more than willing to make your man feel important, appreciated and admired.” –Fascinating Womanhood

“Don’t get serious about a boy who is not willing to prove himself by avoiding sin, especially impurity and drunkenness, frequenting the sacraments, and spending a reasonable amount of time in prayer daily. Never think of marrying someone who will not be able to make you better for living with him, for the foundation of a happy marriage is a holy love which will enable you to aid each other to practice virtue and fulfill your duties.” –Fr. Lovasik, clean Love in Courtship 

“Although good homemaking is an admirable virtue, it can be overdone. Create a home, not a showplace. A man appreciates efforts for his sake, but doesn’t want homemaking to take priority over him, or things he considers more important. The castle is not more important than the king that dwells therein.” – Helen Andelin

As Catholics, we “venerate” images such as the image of Jesus, the saints, the Blessed Mother, which simply means we regard with great respect and reverence the person portrayed in the image, an action which is not contrary to the First Commandment. Saint Thomas Aquinas, in his Summa Theologica, said the following: “Religious worship is not directed to images in themselves, considered as mere things, but under their distinctive aspect as images leading us on to God incarnate. The movement towards the image does not terminate in it as image, but tends toward that whose image it is” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, #2132). www.finerfem.com

A woman can triumph over any faults of her early training and develop into a competent housewife as long as she has a willing spirit, never stops learning and never gives up! www.finerfem.com

Dear Blessed Mother, you were chosen by God to bear within you our world’s greatest gift, the Savior of all humanity. I come to you now asking for the health and safety of the child that God has graced me to conceive. Guard this life that God has created, and let your gentle hands, like that of a skilled physician, assist my delivery so that this baby will know good health and lasting happiness. May my child be favored with the grace of Holy Baptism, and grow to love our Lord Jesus Christ above all else in this world. Amen. www.finerfem.com

“While the procreation of the race is the primary purpose of marriage, it also fosters the love and devotion of husband and wife. It answers man’s craving for intimate companionship, sympathy, understanding, and lasting friendship. It enriches the personality of man by increasing his unselfishness and deepening his capacity for love, friendship, and sacrifice.” – Fr. Lawrence G. Lovasik. The Catholic Family Handbook

“Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself…do not be disheartened by your imperfections, but always rise up with fresh courage.” Introduction the the Devout Life― St. Francis de Sales

Thank you for all the lovely comments on the Giveaway post! It is good to hear from all of you and please know you are in my prayers!

And now the winner of these Advent goodies is…

Jennifer! (jennkray)

Congratulations!

(I have sent you an email)

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Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal Apron! Feminine and Beautiful!

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Fr. Lasance Tidbits – Pain & Grief, Peace, Heart & Face, etc.

From My Prayer Book by Father Lasance

The Blessing of Pain and Grief

Pain and grief clear the mind and help man to know himself. Trouble sweeps away as a mist all deceits and false living, and leaves man to see himself just as he is. Hence he can study his motives, his tendencies, his character honestly.

Temporary pleasures, momentary delights, the glare of sunlight, are all taken away, and just as the eyes can often see farther on a cloudy day than in the full sunlight, so the man sees more exactly his life and all that touches his life.

Thank God that sometimes all the fancy touches and adornments of existence are removed, and we see plainly. For God looks at the heart of us, not at the dress; and to master life is to see it with His eyes.

So, when trouble comes, when loneliness or grief approaches, when a dark day dawns, be glad that there is a chance for self-study, for stock-taking, for a clearing up, for a moral and spiritual housecleaning.

The Path of Sorrow

Do away with penance, humility, obedience, and self-denial, and you abolish the crucifix.

But so long as we retain that symbol, constantly preaching to us the story of God’s sufferings; so long as we believe that He suffered not merely to make atonement for our sins, but to teach us to “fill up those things that are wanting of the sufferings of Christ” in our flesh (Col. i. 24); so long must the spirit of self-denial remain in practice in the Church that He has founded.

The path of sorrow, and that path alone, leads to the land where sorrow is unknown.

Job’s Comforters

Many, like the comforters of Job, look upon all calamity and suffering as the direct result of sin and say: “Sin, and you suffer; sin not, and you suffer not.”

But Christ seems to point to a higher harmony and a more profound reason, and indeed to a solution of the problem which, though it may leave something to be desired by human reason, is all satisfactory to reason illumined by faith.

“Neither this man hath sinned nor his parents, but that the works of God may be made manifest in him.” Out of suffering comes all good, and in the providence of God it is the means of lifting man to the very pinnacle of greatness here below and to eternal beatitude hereafter.

Peace

When our divine Lord sent His disciples out to preach, one of His instructions was: “Into whatsoever house you enter, first say: Peace be to this house.”

Peace is a good word. It is more than a salutation; falling from the Master’s lips, it is a divine benediction as well. Peace, too, is a fruit of grace, which includes all that is sweetest and divine in Christian culture.

Christ’s peace is a blessing which comes out of struggle and discipline. Well, therefore, does the salutation “Peace!” befit a Catholic home, which ought to be the abode of peace.

Heart and Face

A good heart makes a good face — perhaps not beautiful or classic, but refined, sincere, and noble. The face will shine with God behind it.

There are some faces even today that at times seem to have a glow upon them. There are faces that are quiet and uninteresting in repose that light up amazingly with the animation of talking.

There are some who can never get a good photograph, because the camera cannot catch the subtle sparkle of the eye in which the whole individuality lies.

There are some whom you would not at first call handsome, whose faces grow on you with constant acquaintance until they become beautiful to you.

For you see the soul shining through, you see the splendor of a noble character glorifying every feature.

True beauty in the soul will come out in the sweetness, the brightness, the quiet glory of the face.

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Let us make a home that is warm and welcoming, comfortable and freeing – a place where we can express the beauty of our Faith and nurture relationships with people we love. Let us build a home that reflects our personalities and renews our souls. Today, do something special to show your loved ones you care. Put a tablecloth on the table, light a candle, bake a cake, buy some flowers to grace your table….It doesn’t have to be huge…just something to lighten the burdens of the day and to bring a smile to those who cross your threshold. -Finer Femininity

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Taking Him for Granted – Fr. Kinsella, The Wife Desired

IMG_3820The Wife Desired, Fr. Kinsella

No one likes to be taken for granted. In any human relationship a little sign of appreciation goes a long way. Life does not have to be a hard pull uphill all the time. To know that someone, especially the one we love, values our efforts sends us off with our heads in the clouds. The wife who is wise enough to show her husband appreciation for all his efforts will keep his heart fixed upon her.

With a fixed heart he will have a free hand to do the things a responsible head of the house must do. That is why, as Chesterton has pointed out, Christ said, “My son, give Me thy heart.” With his heart securely fixed on Christ the disciple had a pivot from which he could swing through all the complexities of life without losing his purpose. Appreciation gives purpose and motivation to a husband. It is one form of inspiration.

Some years ago a couple came to my attention whom I always have remembered. They illustrated the importance of a wife’s making her husband realize that she valued him. The wife had to leave her home and care for her sick mother. She was gone for a month. She and her husband rented without a lease, wondering from week to week whether they would have a home for themselves and their three little children.

While she was gone, he fell upon a good buy in a fairly new home. He said that he regretted the transaction was made while she was away, but the opportunity came then. He felt that it was his responsibility to do something about their living conditions. Having failed twice to locate her by phone he closed the deal.

The first Sunday his wife was home they went out for a drive. He intended to surprise her. As they were driving around, he suddenly stopped in front of their new home. Her curiosity at his action turned to grief on being let in on the secret. As she sat in the car looking at her new home she began to moan and groan that she did not like it. Why did he do it? Why did he not wait until she came back?

For a moment he sat there crestfallen, not knowing what to say or do. He expected elation and was prepared for a pat on the back. He made an effort to recover his confidence and suggested that they see the inside. She would like the arrangement of the rooms and closet space.

As they went from room to room, she continued her manifestations of disappointment and even resentment that she had no say in the choice of their new home. It was a bad day for both of them, how bad neither of them were to realize for several years. On that day he got the idea that his wife did not appreciate him. The idea continued to grow.

When we talked over their problems, their estrangement, and the future of the children, they had been separated for over a year. By that time he was all through and living with another woman. He had found someone to give him appreciation.

There is always someone around to give it if the wife does not. “The big dummy,” every woman is saying who reads this, “should get everything coming to him.” Perhaps he was something of dummy, but his wife had always loved him, still did, and wanted him back.

In justice to the husband in question, we should remember the circumstances prevailing when he bought the home. However, to make all wives happy, let us suppose that he made a terrible mistake in buying a home without his wife’s knowledge. The deed was done. What did she profit reminding him of his mistake? Was it wise for her to carry a grudge, to give him the idea that she considered him unfair or incompetent? Did her duty of inspiration cease because he was guilty of the worst possible judgment?

She was an excellent wife and mother in some respects, but she failed completely in the important function of inspiration. She told how she had never thought of it but now realized her big mistake, her shortcoming.

This woman was not the nagging type, at least not habitually so. She took her husband for granted. She felt that she was doing her job well. She assumed that he was. She did not assume a thing when they were courting.

If wives worked just half as hard and wisely at keeping their husbands as they do in getting them, the divorce mills would go out of business. A husband needs his wife even more than she needs him. With a little intelligence and verve she can keep him easily.

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Given unconditional love, boundaries to live by, and a Faith to cherish, your children will blossom. They will know that no matter how bad things may be on the outside there is a place of hope and acceptance with family. -Finer Femininity

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My Little Story About Attitude…and An Update

Hubby with the grandkids…

Vincent leads a Junior Legion of Mary in our home for the grandchildren…

As it gets close to Thanksgiving, I like to post this little story about Attitude. It is important to remember that no matter what we are going through, we have control over our thought processes.

It isn’t easy at times, it can be a fight just to remain above water, but when we cry out to God for help, let us also thank Him for all we go through because He WILL come. And He will help us to have a proper attitude through it all.

And when it comes to just the little things in life that bug us, let us remain cheerful. These are such sweet offerings we can give back to Our Lord who has given so much to us!

And now an update….

I would like to give you an update on a couple of things I have asked you to pray about…

I have gone for tests about my health, and….. they have found nothing wrong! So, even though it is perplexing…I take it as a great gift and an answer to prayer…thank you!

A little more perplexing is our dear Rosie who entered the convent about a month ago. Rosie has struggled with her health through the years but had been stable for quite some time before she entered the convent.

After she entered, she quickly spiraled downhill health-wise. The Benedictine nuns were overwhelmingly supportive and worked with her. But it became evident to Mother, after some serious symptoms that even made a run to the emergency room a necessity…that Rosie needed to come home.

So…we are picking her up today. Please continue to keep our Rosie in your prayers.

Rosie smiling through the convent window. 🙂

And now, My Little Story About Attitude

Life is 90% attitude and 10% circumstance.    I like this saying.  I use it on my children when they are giving into their “stinkin’ thinkin”!  If it was my quote I would change it a little. Life is 90 percent attitude, coupled with faith, and 10 percent circumstances.  We DO have choices on how we react to what life is dishing out!

I am very grateful that I have had some people in my life that have made a powerful impact on me because of their awesome attitudes, especially in the face of adversity!  Today I would like to write about 3 of these people.

I met Kay when I was 18 yrs.old.  She is a middle-aged German woman who always had a smile on her face and a ready laugh.  Young people were attracted to her like a magnet. She was always available to talk to and had good, sound advice for the problems of youth.   I was one of those people that was immediately attracted to Kay.  I wondered how she managed to stay in a good mood…all the time!

ONE DAY Kay told me her story.  She had been married and had 2 lovely daughters.  She and her husband lived next door to Kay’s best friend. Life was going along great until one dark day when Kay found out that her husband was cheating on her…with her best friend.  Not only was Kay heartbroken, she was incensed!

Kay is a strong German woman…emotionally and physically.  You didn’t want to get her enraged!  She took out her gun.  She went behind some bushes and pointed the gun at her best friend.  Kay wasn’t being dramatic.  She was cold, dead serious.  Fortunately she had one sane moment when she realized where this action would take her.  Jail didn’t look too good.  So she pointed it at her own head, once again took a second look at what she was doing (she was a Catholic), put the gun down and walked away.

She then began her journey groping her way out of her gloom.  She lived on a dairy farm and every day she would go to milk the cows, pain and bitterness shadowing her every step.  Through gritted teeth she would murmur bible quotes like, “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it” or “Rejoice in the Lord always again I say rejoice”!  Slowly, slowly, it began to change her frame of mind. The cloud began to lift!

When I met Kay she was a dynamo of joy and strength.  She had a love for life that was coupled with compassion because of what she had endured and overcome.  Her situation hadn’t changed but she sure had!  I lived with Kay and her daughter for about a year. I learned a lot from her. She was a true example to me of overcoming difficult circumstances through prayer and simple steps of changing one’s attitude.

Then there is Jim.  Ten years ago Jim was a Harley Davidson guy.  His way of life and his habits were quickly destroying him.  One day Jim got into a terrible car accident!

He woke up from it and was not able to move his limbs! Jim was now a quadriplegic.  He couldn’t move anything below his neck except his right hand – and he could only move that a little.

Now, when you go into Jim’s room it is quiet with no movement.  It is usually dimly lit. Jim is laying on his back…and that’s pretty much it.  It kind of gives one the feeling of walking into a tomb.  Silence…stillness…solitude.

But it doesn’t end there.  When Jim starts to talk you begin to see something very much alive!   Jim will tell you, with his eyes sparkling, that he is happier now than he has ever been! It’s really quite astounding!

You see, since Jim had his accident, he became a Catholic. Through one of our Legion of Mary members who came to visit him often in the hospital, he converted. He now uses every ounce of his suffering for his wife (who left him after the accident), the conversion of his children and for the many families who have befriended Jim from our parish. He has many of our pictures up on the wall so he can pray for us all! He has a deep and incredible purpose in his life now and he knows his sufferings are like gold in the Eyes of God, if borne properly!

Physically, Jim’s quality of life had changed dramatically but his outlook is incredible.  Now He has faith, hope and joy.  Interiorly, Jim is a new man!  There are people who visit him and walk away shaking their heads because of the irony of it. When I talk to Jim on the phone I get tingles in my spine, realizing what an awesome guy he is! He is an inspiration to all.

The last but certainly not the least person I’d like to talk about today is someone quite close to me – my husband, Vincent.  Here’s a man who has an attitude with a Capital A.  He told me that he tried to be in a bad mood once, but didn’t like it!

Here’s just a small example.

Our home is unique. It is built with a lot of used material and lumber and rock left over from Vincent’s jobs. It took us five years to get it barely to the point of being livable. It is made up of mostly block and rock and we built it when we had time and money (both of which have a way of not showing up at the same time!) Vincent worked on it after a hard day’s work…..for five long years. The house still had a lot of finishing to do but we finally moved in! Happy Day!!…considering we had been living in a one-bedroom little home with 7 children!

Vincent had finally and painstakingly finished our little Cathedral ceiling. It had sat there with insulation exposed for 3 years. He took some old pickets from a fence, planed them, varnished them and placed them in the ceiling! It was beautiful!

Shortly after, in 2003, we had a fire that could have taken some of our lives!  When the firemen arrived they violently swung their axes into that nice cathedral ceiling!  We gasped! Oh no! Not the cathedral ceiling…we waited so long for it!

They then began to heap the debris up into a pile when Vincent spotted something!  It was his long lost wallet that still contained $500.00.  He pulled it out of the mound, grinned and said a one-liner we’ll never forget, “This is my lucky day!” 😛Virginia's Formal Wedding pics 345

He always amazes me.  It is difficult in this day and age to be the sole bread winner of a family of 13.  I’ve seen him go through some pretty terrifying circumstances.  When the dust settles or even before it does, he rises smiling, looking at the bright side of things, thanking God for everything He has given him! What an attitude!

When my dear husband is gone, he will certainly be remembered by his undying good attitude! Circumstances do not deter him. He knows he is a Child of God and he relies on his Faith to get him through! What a witness he is!

Did you know that researchers have determined that the average person thinks over 40,000 thoughts each day?   Wow!  That’s a lot of thoughts scurrying through our minds.  If we analyzed these thoughts I wonder if we would discover just how much is negative self-talk.  The exciting thing about it is that we CAN change our thoughts and in turn our destiny.  How?

A wise woman once said, “I figure that practice makes perfect!  I know people who, though they did not have a natural knack for music, started piano lessons and practiced every day.  After 2 or 3 yrs. their fingers moved across the keys easily and their music sounded sweeter each time they played.  If you ask them how they do it, they would answer ‘Practice.  I have practiced so much that it comes second nature to me.’  Our life is like that.  If we practice thoughts of joy and thanksgiving it will become easier and easier to have a good attitude, even in adversity.”

I am still practicing and learning these things.  I will always be a student educating myself in the Book of Life. I’m really thankful for the people in my life that have led the way for me and continue to be a tremendous example of the power of an attitude.

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Mothers, know how very special you are. You are the essence, the heart of your home. Your smile lightens the burdens, your words brighten the hearts of those who will be part of your festivities. The tone of this special family time is set by you! We, as mothers, are privileged to have such an important part in the making of our homes! May your day be filled with grace and love! -Finer Femininity

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How to Raise Your Children

by S. Hart

From the Australian Magazine, Catholic Family

Children Need Discipline

“In the home where the fear of God and the love of children are found,” writes Cardinal Mindszenty in The Mother, “parental authority reigns as the most solid of all human authority, if it is based on love, goodness and mutual trust, and not on severity. But from this we cannot conclude that parental authority must be entirely lacking in severity.”

A little lad was giving his parents a great deal of difficulty because he often had “tantrums” whenever he was told to do something which was not to his liking. From the time he was a baby he had made it a habit to stamp his feet, cry, yell, and in general, “carry on,” until his weak and helpless parents did as he wished. They had always given in eventually, so, of course, the little fellow had never failed to use his most effective weapon.

When he was about five, his uncle came to stay with the family for a few days. At first, the boy was on his best behavior, but when he was told to do something he did not want to do, he immediately went into his act.

The visiting uncle watched, surprised that mother and dad gave in, after which the tantrum immediately ended. The next day the same thing happened, and the uncle ventured to say, “Now listen, you shouldn’t act like that.”

The boy had his answer ready: “Oh, I can’t help it; I’m like that, really. Even Mum says so. I just can’t help it.”

A short time before he left, the uncle made an offer to the boy: “How would you like to come camping with me for a week?” The lad accepted very happily. To his parents, the uncle promised, “When I bring him back, he’ll be changed. You’ll see.”

The first time the young fellow answered back and threw a tantrum, his uncle gave him a good spanking, such as he had never received before. Surprised and angry, he yelled even louder, but he only received more.

“What did you do that for?” he tearfully asked his uncle.

“Why,” his uncle responded, “I can’t help it. When I see little boys act that way, I have to spank them. I’m like that!” Only once more did the boy try to get his way, but the same thing happened, and his uncle once again explained, “I can’t help it. I’m like that.”

Never again did the lad have another tantrum. In only a week he had learned his lesson… “Train the character of your children,” urged Pope Pius XII. “Correct their faults, encourage and cultivate their good qualities. Your children, conscious as they grow up and as they begin to think and desire, that they are guided by a good parental will, constant and strong, free from violence and anger, not subject to weakness or inconsistency, will learn in time to see therein the interpreter of another and higher will, the will of God.”

“Some mothers may say,” continues Pope Pius XII, “‘Children are so difficult to manage nowadays! I can do nothing with that son of mine; that daughter of mine is impossible.’ Admittedly, many boys and girls show themselves intractable. But why? Because when they were two or three years old they were allowed to do as they pleased.”

“We think of the little boy,” writes His Eminence, Richard Cardinal Cushing, “who was misbehaving during the children’s Mass. Finally reproved by an adult seated nearby, he protested in wide-eyed astonishment: ‘But, I’m only four years old!’

“We can readily envisage the scene which took place in his home,” continues His Eminence, “when his mother, defending his naughtiness, said: ‘But he’s only four years old!’

Children are natural mimics. They remember…

“I WILL!” or “I WON’T!” should have no place in the vocabulary of a child or youth when he contradicts what a parent has decreed must be. The little boy—misguided and uninstructed—who throws a stone at a window in order to hear the pane smash must realize that he deserves punishment, and that it grieves his parents to inflict it.

However, parents should not spoil the lesson by getting sentimental about it. When a wise and just rule has been set down and the punishment for breaking it established, no weakness on the part of the parents should prevent its being carried out. Otherwise, the child will lose respect for authority and devise every possible way of making his parents conform to his will.

There is no need to be surprised if the child attempts to show his protest against the correction by pouting. This is a precious weapon the weak use against those stronger than they—appearing to be sad, oppressed, suffering and in general, real victims. This habit of sulking, however, is dangerous, so let parents apply themselves to cure their children of it right from the start.

Effects of this pouting, especially in regard to girls, are dangerous for the future; girls already have the tendency to act like victims. If they are always quick to put on a “sad face” for any little thing, they are risking greatly the peace of the homes they themselves will make in future years.

In punishing his children, the good parent is absolutely impartial. There are no favorites, and no pre-conceived convictions disposing him to decide without evidence that “Johnny must have done it because he’s a troublemaker,” or “Mark would never do anything wrong.”

The good parent gives his child the opportunity to defend himself, and does not go ahead with the punishment if he sees that the little one is really innocent.

The punishment should always be in proportion to the fault. Children become very confused if they are not punished when they have been really impudent or mean, and are punished severely instead, when they accidentally break a glass. The best way to maintain proper proportion between punishment and fault is to consider not so much the external action as the child’s intention.

Sometimes there is a tendency to let one’s personal mood of sadness or joy influence punishment. For no reason he can see, a child thus finds himself one day treated with great leniency and the next day with excessive severity. Constant vigilance will prevent this disturbing fluctuation and the rebellion which often results from it.

Punishment given by an infuriated parent, who shouts and threatens, may frighten the child considerably, but it will never result in real moral betterment. In fact, when your anger is aroused, it is better not to punish; at least, do not punish beyond measure. If you keep control over yourself, you will not scold unreasonably, which does little or no good. A child is edified by the sight of his father or mother proceeding calmly to discipline him; the punishment becomes less hateful to him and far more effective.  It is a wise rule, then, to wait until personal irritation has died down and one is in complete control of himself before punishing.

Let parents be careful in punishing. Constant discipline administered without love by unfeeling parents can have as many harmful effects as the unwise spoiling of a child by overindulgent parents. It can result in children who are unhappy, oppressed by tormenting fears, unable to believe in sincere affection, full of hidden resentment, or inclined to lie and deceive in the effort to escape punishment.

Chastisements should be used only as extraordinary means in absolute necessity, that is, when children are rebellious, selfish or mean and cannot be reasoned with. At such times, they need to be disciplined.

Some children, possessed of naturally docile and happy dispositions, may not need spankings at all. A disapproving word or look may suffice to discipline them. Actually, corporal punishment is one of the poorest tools for forming character. With little tots, however, a good quick spanking is far more efficacious than a long sermon. Nonetheless the impression doesn’t last too long and it will lose its effectiveness if used all the time.

Punishments of a moral nature are to be preferred to physical punishment, because the former may be of various degrees and are very effective. Examples of such punishment are: expressed disapproval, public re-proof, “cool treatment” for a certain period of time to show displeasure, and the removal of the child from some responsibility or duty at home which he considers an honor. This type of punishment is based on the child’s desire and need to feel trusted, esteemed and loved.

Good punishments, in fact, must not simply make the child “pay” for his misdemeanors. They must aim to better him, to preserve him from new falls, to strengthen his will by making the wrong-doing appear much less attractive. Wise punishments should teach children to make “correct decisions” by themselves.

It is related in the life of St. John Bosco that when he was a boy of five, he entered the house with his older brother Joseph, and both being extremely thirsty they asked their mother for a glass of water. After she had drawn the water, the mother handed the first glassful to Joseph. John was hurt because of this preference, and when his mother handed him a glass of water, he refused it. Without saying a word, his mother took the glass of water away.

For a while, John was silent, then he addressed his mother very timidly: “Mother, may I have a glass of water too?”

“I thought you were not thirsty,” she replied.

With that, John threw his arms about his mother’s neck, saying: “Forgive me, Mother.”

Years later, this same John Bosco one day learned from his assistant that there was ill humor among his boys. To put it to an abrupt end, he said to them that evening after prayers: “My dear boys, I am not pleased with you. For this evening I shall say no more. Go to bed.”  The Saint’s words made a profound impression you may be sure.

A note of warning may be appropriate here: may your reproofs never turn into unbecoming invectives, scornful name-calling, and the like. Some deplorable acts can only do real harm. It is so easy to fall into the habit of scolding. But a constant stream of angry, harsh words falling on the child’s ear causes only misery and tension. And after a while, the youngster will just ignore them in self-defense.

Real love of the child, however, eliminates the danger of falling into this error. Parents cannot be rid of their responsibility by trying to turn over their authority to someone else. Their authority comes from God, not to be abused, but to be used out of love to help their children grow mature in Christian living.

If authority is always exercised for the betterment of the child, not just for the parents’ convenience, children will come to understand that in obeying mother and father, they are obeying God, who gives parents the right and duty to guide and instruct their offspring.

Help the youngsters to see that in disobeying your rulings they are offending God. When your child says he is sorry after disobeying, have him tell God he is sorry, also.

Mother and dad, if you bring up your children in the holy love and fear of God, you will keep them from many dangers and will reap much joy from them.

“The parent who loves his children and takes pleasure in training them in right conduct gives the best possible testimonial to marriage. On the other hand, the parent who constantly complains about his physical, financial or emotional burdens breaks down his youngster’s vision of marriage as a worthy state in life.” – Rev. George A. Kelly http://amzn.to/2yxKIes (afflink)

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The Mighty Ballot

Plain Talks on Marriage, Fr. Fulgence Meyer, O.F.M., 1927

Catholics will do their duty especially by contributing their share to procure a good and wise government.

They will take a judicious interest in the political situation in order to be able to cast their votes sanely and efficiently.

They will vote at every state and federal election, and also at every important local election.

All things being equal, they will support their fellow-Catholics in their campaigns for public offices, in order to insure a just proportion of their co-religionists among the civil officials of the land.

While our Church enjoys great freedom in this country, it still has many bitter enemies here whose aim in life is the Church’s destruction. They are doing all in their power to disfranchise the Catholics by depriving them practically of the rights and privileges of American citizens.

They even want to despoil Catholic parents of their natural right to educate their children according to the dictates of their conscience.

These wicked men can succeed in their iniquitous and un-American endeavor only in one way, and that is, if Catholics neglect to use the weapon of defense given them by the constitution of our country.

This weapon is the ballot.

As long as Catholics use the ballot prudently, consistently and universally, no one will ever reduce them to slavery; but once they grow careless in the employment of this powerful weapon, it will be their own fault if they are subjected to an ignoble and tyrannical dominion.

It devolves, therefore, upon our Catholic parents not only to vote themselves in the interest of our right as American citizens – and to vote regularly at every election in order not to get out of the habit and be caught napping – but also to arrange that their children who are of age vote with them. In unity there is strength, especially with reference to the almighty ballot box of a nation like ours.

David and Goliath

The blatant bigotry rampant in various parts of our country may be likened to Goliath, the swaggering giant of the Philistines, flouting the chosen people of God and their religion.

The pebble from the sling of David, that felled the mighty Goliath, is a symbol of the ballot.

If all Catholics cast their vote with a true and sure aim at each election, the giant of intolerance, stalking abroad, will be reduced to impotence and disgrace.

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“The very presence of a woman who knows how to combine an enlightened piety with mildness, tact, and thoughtful sympathy, is a constant sermon; she speaks by her very silence, she instills convictions without argument, she attracts souls without wounding susceptibilities; and both in her own house and in her dealings with men and things, which must necessarily be often rude and painful, she plays the part of the soft cotton wool we put between precious but fragile vases to prevent their mutually injuring each other.” – Monseigneur Landriot, Archbishop of Rheims, 1872 -Loreto Publications http://www.loretopubs.org/sins-of-the-tongue-or-jealousy-in-womans-life.html
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New! The Catholic Wife’s Maglet! And an Advent Giveaway!

New! And ready to Pre-Order! The Beautiful, Full-Color Catholic Wife’s Maglet (Magazine/Booklet)!!

Enjoy articles about attitude, respect, living for today, gratefulness, hospitality, economy, etc. Solid, Catholic advice…. A truly lovely book for any Catholic wife…or single lady aspiring to wifehood!

From the Editor (moi):

Dear Catholic Wives,

The following pages are for you…to inspire you in your daily walk as a Godly, feminine, loving wife.

As wives, we have a unique calling, a calling that causes us to reach into our innermost being in order to give ourselves to our husbands the way Christ would desire.

As we learn in Finer Femininity, we, as women, have the awesome responsibility AND power to make or break our marriages and our relationships. Let’s not wait to fix it after it is broken.

The principles laid out in this maglet will work if we work them. It is all about self-sacrifice, submission, thankfulness, kindness, graciousness, etc. The world around us teaches the opposite and it is so easy for us to slip into this mindset.

Let us use Our Lady as our model and learn the virtues of true womanhood.

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From the Back Cover:

This Maglet is for you, lovely wives, who have dedicated your life to your faith and to your husband.

If it is in God’s providence you bring children into the world, your goal is to raise a wholesome, dedicated Catholic family…in an ungodly world. This is a seemingly insurmountable task considering the obstacles before us.

Our first line of defense is the bond we must have with our husband. Besides our spiritual life, which gives us the grace to do so, we must put our relationship with our husband first. It is something we work on each day.

How do we do this? Many times it is just by a tweaking of the attitude, seeing things from a different perspective. It is by practicing the virtues….self-sacrifice, submission, thankfulness, kindness, graciousness, etc.

The articles in this maglet will help you with these things. They are written by authors that are solid Catholics, as well as authors with old-fashioned values.

Take this information to heart and your life will be filled with many blessings!

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 I have made The Catholic Wife’s Maglet available to pre-order. I will be sending out the books as soon as they come in (maybe 2 weeks?) and they may be sold out soon after so please pre-order now if you would like this for Christmas! Link is here.

Here is a picture of the Table of Contents:

Also available….Package Deal!

The Catholic Wife’s Maglet and The Catholic Young Lady’s Maglet

Available here.

Today, I’d like to offer you the Advent Book Package…The Catholic Mother’s Traditional Advent Journal, Celine’s Advent Catholic Hearth Story, the Advent Wire-Wrapped Chaplet and Prayer Card and the purple, lacy chapel veil/scarf!

Just leave a comment here, and your name will be added! It is always great to hear from you. 🙂

I will announce the winner next Tuesday, Nov. 13th!

 

 

 

As women, we bring a very special part of God’s beauty to the world by our presence and through our words, actions, and deeds. Girls and women stand for all that is pure and clean and noble in this world. What delight should fill our hearts!” – The Valiant Maiden’s Crusade http://amzn.to/2iO8eOQ (afflink)

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November, the Month of the Holy Souls, and No Discrimination

Eternal Rest Grant Unto Them, O Lord….

Let us remember our beloved dead always, but especially this month dedicated to the Souls in Purgatory.

If we remember the dead, they will intercede for us. Their prayers are very powerful, indeed.

“By assisting them we shall not only give great pleasure to God, but will acquire also great merit for ourselves. And, in return for our suffrages, these blessed souls will not neglect to obtain for us many graces from God, but particularly the grace of eternal life.

I hold for certain that a soul delivered from Purgatory by the suffrages of a Christian, when she enters paradise, will not fail to say to God: ‘Lord, do not suffer to be lost that person who has liberated me from the prison of Purgatory, and has brought me to the enjoyment of Thy glory sooner than I have deserved.'” – St. Augustine of Hippo

Don’t forget to make a trip to the cemetery each day from November 1st to November 8th. You gain a partial/plenary indulgence (under the usual conditions) for a soul in purgatory on every day you do this!!

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This is the little cemetery that is about a mile from our home. We are fortunate that we discovered it, tucked away, hidden and obscure. We have made many a trip there in November… getting stuck or slipping into the ditch, through rain, snow and biting winds,…..as we kneel to give relief to one of our faithful departed.

In these first days of November, there have been times we have been headed to bed, sometimes with PJ’s on, when one of the kids looked at us wide-eyed, “We haven’t gone to the cemetery yet!”

Out come the housecoats and slippers as we pile in the van to tear over to the little graveyard. The kids can’t bear the thought of a soul in purgatory, waiting all day to get relief, only to have us forget about them!! They know the value of a plenary indulgence for these souls!

And if we have a house-full of guests (not unusual), the whole menagerie joins us, piling into vans and cars, some scratching their heads wondering what the hubbub is about, and finding they learned something new about their Faith.

So, do remember the souls in purgatory. There are many other ways to give them relief, if we can’t make it to the cemetery. We should pray for them always but this is the month to really focus on them!!!!

One day we will be in their place……

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From The Year and Our Children, Mary Reed Newland

November is the month of praying for the dead; so this proposes discussion. We want the children to pray generously, boldly, not only for “our dead” but for all the world of the dead.

Strangely enough, this is their way if they are left to themselves. Rarely are they content with our conventional phrasing, “relatives and friends and all the souls in Purgatory.” They care about so many and want to name them by name.

I was icing a cake one day, and one of the boys was watching hungrily.

“Who’s he?” he asked, pointing to Paul Revere on the sugar package. So I told him the story of Paul Revere.

“Boy. He was pretty brave to do that. Is he dead?”

“Yes. That happened a long time ago.”

That night at prayers we listed our intentions and our dead, and he added, “And Paul Revere, in case he’s in Purgatory.”

Yes, Paul Revere, and Rudyard Kipling, because he wrote the Jungle Book, and the Just-So Stories, and Kenneth Grahame because cause he wrote Wind in the Willows, and Beatrix Potter for Jemima Puddleduck and Peter Rabbit.

They pray for Stephen Foster because they sing his songs, and all the ones who wrote their favorite music; for the Brothers Grimm, of course, and Hans Andersen.

Then there is Abraham Lincoln, and George Washington, and all the dead in the cemeteries (for whom we pray when we drive by cemeteries), and the dead in the newspapers, and the accident victims.

Add to these the bad dead, like Stalin and Hitler (whom they do not even know except from history books or, now and then, grown-ups’ conversation), and the dead who have died without Baptism, “because we hope they got baptism of desire,” also the dead of the terrible persecutions, and the bad Indians who martyred the Jesuits, the dead in our floods, and of course the dead who have no one to care about them or pray for them.

The listings could go on all night, just as the lists for All Souls Day could go on all day.

But this is good, because we don’t know about the dead. If they are in Heaven, our prayers will be used for someone else, and if they are beyond saving, our prayers will be used for someone else.

Always, we must remember how much God loves souls and how dearly He paid on the Cross in order to save them. Charity is not just for this world. It extends to the world where so many we have loved, and God has loved, must wait and endure purification, “as though by fire.”

Masses, prayers, sacrifices – all must be encouraged for the dead. Blessed John Massias used to sprinkle holy water on the ground, saying that it was an efficacious devotion together with prayers for the souls in Purgatory. His story Warrior in White, by Mary Fabyan Windeatt, is a good read-aloud aloud story for November.

In the Canon of every Mass, there is a special memento for the dead, so we can remind our children the night before and on the way in the morning to make their Mass intention for the dead. We can encourage them to sacrifice in order to give an offering for a Mass for the dead.

We can remind them after they have been to confession that for the few moments it takes them to make the Stations of the Cross or to recite the Rosary before the Blessed Sacrament and pray for the intention of the Holy Father, there is a plenary indulgence applicable to the souls in Purgatory.

We can faithfully attend Forty Hours’ devotion, parish Holy Hours, or whatever devotions our parish holds by which we may give praise and honor to God and succor to the dear dead.

Above all, let us not fail to teach our children that death is one of the punishments of Original Sin. It was not part of God’s original plan.

If Adam had not committed Original Sin, we would have gone to God in some other way. Now we go through death.

We receive the gift of human life from God at conception and the gift of sacramental life from Christ at Baptism. Death is our opportunity to give life, our life; not merely to lie helplessly and let it be taken from us, but to offer Him with a willing heart this life we received from Him.

We are free to make it our own surrender, in order to go to Him and glory.

An interesting tidbit:

Poland does not celebrate Halloween, but Poland sets its cemeteries ‘on fire’ and – believe me – those cemeteries are the most beautiful places to be at the beginning of November.

1st November- All Saints’ Day and 2nd November – All Souls’ Day are days when almost everyone visits graves of their family members. The gravestones are decorated with colorful chrysanthemums in full bloom (in Poland those flowers are associated with this particular occasion) and millions of grave candles (zniczy), which symbolize the presence of God and reminds of the prayer that has been said in a moment of reflexion for those who passed before us.

This Christian celebration of All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day roots in a belief that there is a powerful spiritual bond between those in heaven and the living.

Those days are national holidays in Poland. This special time of the year creates a very melancholic atmosphere full of spiritual contemplation about those who are not with us in this world anymore.

If you are planning a trip anywhere in Poland at the beginning of November – make sure to have a look at how beautiful and full of light are Polish cemeteries.

 

“All monasteries have a bell. St. Bernard, in writing his rules for monasticism, told his monks that whenever the monastic bell rang, they were to drop whatever they were doing and go immediately to the particular activity (prayer, meals, work, study, sleep) to which the bell was summoning them. Our home is our ‘Domestic Monastery’. Our monastic bell is each task to which we are called. We respond immediately, not because we want to, but because it’s time for that task and time isn’t our time, it’s God’s time.” -Ron Rolheiser OMI

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All Souls’ Day – Maria von Trapp

Toward the end of the year, on November 2nd, the Church sets a day aside which is devoted to the suffering souls in Purgatory.

Just as we turn to our big sisters and brothers, the saints, to intercede for us at the throne of God, the poor souls are also turning toward us “Have pity on me, have pity on me, at least you, my friends, because the hand of the Lord has touched me” (Job 19:21; Office of the Dead).

Helpless in themselves, since the purification they are undergoing is passive suffering, they can be helped by us. We can pray for them. We can offer up sacrifices and good works with the desire that God may accept them and, seeing in them the prayer and suffering rise from the Mystical Body of His only Son, hasten the delivery of those souls whom He deems worthy and ready for such help.

On the day of “all the faithful departed” the Church reminds her children to listen to the message of the Scriptures in her liturgy and to do some thinking and meditating on Purgatory and the holy souls there.

We know Purgatory is a realm of twilight, so to speak–an in-between darkness and light, a place of regret and longing. Of the suffering which is undergone there, we are told that it is bitter and great, that it surpasses all imaginable suffering here on earth as an ocean surpasses a little puddle.

A knowledge of Purgatory we find already in the Old Testament.

Two hundred years before Christ Judas Machabeus “making a gathering…sent twelve thousand drachms of silver to Jerusalem for sacrifice to be offered for the sins of the dead, thinking well and religiously concerning the resurrection, (for if he had not hoped that they that were slain should rise again, it would have seemed superfluous and vain to pray for the dead); and because he considered that they who had fallen asleep with godliness, had great grace laid up for them.

It is, therefore, a holy and wholesome thought to pray for the dead, that they may be loosed from their sins” (II Macc. 12:43-46).

All Souls’ Day is a solemn day for families. We mothers must tell our children again about the Communion of Saints, which functions in the same way as life in a large family, where each member depends on the others.

In this case, the poor souls depend on us. They depend on our love, but love does not consist in words only, it consists in deeds. The sooner the little ones learn to understand this, the better it is for their whole life.

On All Souls’ Day they will be encouraged to bring little sacrifices, to say special prayers. They will be told about the “thesaurus ecclesiae,” the golden treasure chest of Holy Church filled with the atoning sacrifice of Christ, the merits of the Blessed Virgin, of the saints–canonized and uncanonized–into which we may delve.

It was given to Peter to bind and loosen, and his successor, making use of that very power, sets the conditions under which this can be done. One such disposition is the “toties quoties” indulgence each time we visit a parish church on the second of November and say six “Our Fathers,” six “Hail Marys,” and six “Glorys,” we may gain a plenary indulgence applicable to the poor souls.

All Souls’ Day is also the date when we remind our children that on the solemn day of their baptism the Church lit the baptismal candle and said: “Receive this burning light and see thou guard the grace of thy baptism without blame. Keep the Commandments of God so that when the Lord shall come to call thee to the nuptials, thou mayst meet Him with all the Saints in the heavenly court, there to live forever and ever.”

This baptismal candle of our children we should wrap reverently and keep in a special place together with our own. If, as happened to us, these candles are no longer in the family (we could not take along such things from the old country), one can take candles blessed on Candlemas Day, tie the names of each child to a candle, and keep them in a special place. This is what we did.

Only Johannes, being born in this country, has his own original baptismal candle.

On All Souls’ Day we take the candles out and look at them and remind each other to light our candle for any of us in case of sudden death, as a symbol that we want to die in our baptismal innocence, that the light which was kindled at that solemn moment has not been extinguished voluntarily by us. It is always a solemn moment when the children are called to think of their parents’ death.

In the old country the great event of the day used to be the visit to the cemetery.

First I have to describe an Austrian cemetery. Out in the country every village has its cemetery around the church; bigger towns have them on the outskirts.

Every grave is a flower bed at the head of which is a crucifix, sometimes of wrought iron, sometimes carved in wood. Occasionally there are also tombstones.

Families take care of their graves individually. People who have moved elsewhere will pay the cemetery keeper to do it for them.

The German word for cemetery is “Gottesacker,” meaning “God’s acre.” In the summer it looks like a big flower garden.

People are constantly coming and going, working on their graves, or just praying for their loved ones.

On anniversaries you will see vigil lights burning and on All Souls’ Day every grave will have its little vigil light as a token that we do remember.

People will flock out to the cemeteries in the early evening because it is such a sight–those many, many flames and all the mounds covered with flowers. Slowly one walks up and down the aisles, stopping at the graves of relatives and friends to say a short prayer and sprinkle them with holy water.

When the father of our family died several years ago, we started our own old-world cemetery. Soon one of his children followed him and now there are two flower-covered mounds under the large carved-wood crucifix.

The lanterns are lit not only on the anniversaries and on All Souls’ Day, but every Saturday night. A hedge of “rosa multiflora” encircles this holy spot. Inside the hedge there is a bench and we often sit there in the peace and quiet of our little acre of God.

 

A very valuable sermon for this All Souls’ Day. Learn about Purgatory… Why is it needed? How long will one be there? What is it all about? Can we avoid it? Learn about the Sabbatine Privilege!

“A woman’s role is supportive, and she is to be her husband’s helper, confidant, counselor if need be, friend and one of his greatest allies. You should be more than willing to make your man feel important, appreciated and admired.” -Fascinating Womanhood http://amzn.to/2qjprOY (afflink)

 

Don’t forget (Nov. 1 – 8 )! Go to a cemetery, say a prayer for the Holy Souls in Purgatory, an Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be for the Pope, go to confession within 20 days, and you will gain a Plenary Indulgence for one soul each day….which means they will be released from Purgatory and will enter the Gates of Heaven! Those Souls will not forget about you…it comes back full circle! Get your children out there!

Requirements for obtaining a plenary indulgence:

*Do the work while in a state of grace

*Receive sacramental confession within 20 days of the work (several plenary indulgences may be earned per reception)

*Receive Eucharistic communion (one plenary indulgence may be earned per reception of Eucharist)

*Pray for the pope’s intentions (Just state that you are “praying for pope’s intentions,” followed by an Our Father and Hail Mary)

*Have no attachment to sin (even venial) — i.e., the Christian makes an act of the will to love God and despise sin. This simply means “true resolve” to avoid this sin from now on.

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Advent Calendars


Advent Calendars